Good communication is one of the essential building blocks for a healthy relationship. Webster defines communication as ?a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior?. Communication can be paralleled to a paintbrush and you and your partner as the canvas.
Human expression is the freedom to communicate and the tool by which a relationship will thrive, whether it?s been a wonderful or horrible day; whether there?s been a crisis or triumph, sharing it in words makes you and your partner feel more understood, more appreciated, and more loved. The ability to communicate well is the most important relationship skill of all. Try these 3 simple steps and watch your relationship grow.
Step One: Listen!!!
Though you probably listen to your partner a lot, do you listen effectively? Try this: Set aside ten or twenty minutes with each other every day to update, and validate concerns. When you are listening, aim to make your partner the center of attention. Use positive body language to acknowledge what your partner said with a nod or a smile. He?ll feel appreciated and therefore more likely to listen to you. To show you?ve listened, repeat back what you?ve heard.
Step Two: Timing is everything
Sometimes, communicating will actually make things worse. If there?s a crisis, a rush, or you?re both tired, cranky or drunk, you don?t have time to talk and if you did, it would only up the ante. So do the sensible thing and wait. Agreeing that you will touch down that evening, or tomorrow is better, because then you can communicate calmly, lovingly and with all the time in the world.
Step Three: Practice!!!
So often, even if you know the basics, you can get into bad communication habits with your partner. Put at least one of these tips into practice every day over the next month and you?ll clean up your communication by at least 200 per cent. If you consistently talk about yourself, he will push back. Break the habit by asking more questions.
If you keep interrupting, he will feel unheard. Break the habit by learning his signals for ?it?s your turn now? ? such as slowing down, looking at you, gesturing you to speak. If you keep answering for him when he?s asked a question, he will quite rightly object. Break the habit by agreeing a signal or code word that he can use to ?nudge? you if you?re starting to do this.
Remember that the goal of effective communication skills should be mutual understanding and finding a solution that pleases both parties; not ?winning? the argument or ?being right?.
By Lisa Miller-Baldwin
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Source: http://www.womans-essence.com/cultivating-effective-communication-in-your-relationship
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